No Wonder They Hate It So Much

Today we set a record in Indiana. It was nine hundred degrees during the afternoon; but at least it was humid. I got a few coins out of my pocket this afternoon with the intention of giving them to a homeless lady, but they actually melted as I dropped them from my hand to her jar. I really want to do a "HOW HOT IS IT?" joke.

All I could think about today was the start of football season and the vast number of high school and college players sweating it out this week. It's miserable out there, and most fans who just know the glory of game day will never fully understand the work and physical beating football players take in August. If you're a high school or youth coach and think you need to "push the kids" through this crap, you're out of your mind. Practice in the gym. Practice at night. This has been stupid. The Indianapolis Colts are in camp too; and with the new season comes a series of questions :

First, what will the Colts do with their wide receivers? This group may have more impressive numbers than Heidi Fleiss. I mean who do you stop? Reggie Wayne? Dallas Clark? (I know, he's technically a TE, but work with me) Pierre Garcon? Austin Collie? Anthony Gonzalez? Find me another team in the NFL with that kind of depth at ANY position; let alone a position that can hurt a team the way WR can. The Colts are an offensive juggernaut for a reason; and this year will be no different. Wayne's playing for a new contract, and he'll either blow up or someone will overtake him. If the latter happens, my money's on Garcon. That said, I'd never count Wayne out, and he may have a career season. (Do I dare do a fantasy prediction here? Mmmm......No.)

Is Bob Sanders really healthy? Reports last week were that Sanders may never play football again because of injuries to his legs and shoulders. Then, he was "full participation" on Day 1 of Training Camp; and an absentee - sitting out for precautionary reasons - on Day 2. Sanders and "precautionary reasons" are officially synonyms according to Webster's. You can look it up.

How will Jerry Hughes contribute? At DE, this dog can hunt. He's quick; he's strong; and he's behind two all-pro players. Dwight Freeney's ankle injury may have prevented the Colts from a Super Bowl Championship last year; but he's the man at right defensive end. Robert Mathis is the man on the left side. Which of those two gives up enough 3rd down snaps for Hughes to show what he's made of? We're talking about two of the best players in the business. I don't expect either one to be very happy about giving up snaps; but Mathis wants a new contract and I'm very sure Hughes will be given an opportunity to prove Mathis expendable and ultimately save the Colts money...which they'll need to re-sign Manning. (It always comes back to that guy. He must be really good or something) My guess is Mathis is the guy who'll give up snaps; and I'm predicting he's not a Colt in 2011. That would be a mistake, I think, but I've seen this movie before.

Finally, will the Colts really try to run the ball more often and more effectively this season? I know the one flaw with this team has been the inability to consistently convert the 3rd and short yardage plays. But this team has also improved immeasurably on the defensive side; has won 12 games in SEVEN consecutive seasons (that's insane, people. Enjoy it while you can!), and just went to its second Super Bowl in 4 years. If it ain't broke, don't fix it; and I really don't think trying to build a perfect team should trump what's proven effective. The offensive line has protected Manning (there's that guy again) better than any NFL line has ever protected its QB; and it's led to a record setting win total over a decade. As much as I would love to run the ball a little better; the Colts' DNA is throwing it around. I dance with the lady who brung me if I'm the Colts; but you never know.

Finally, some things I hope :

I hope Terrell Owens and Chad Eight Five end up fighting like NASCAR rivals. But...no team deserves those two divas more than the Bengals. Owens and EIght Five on the same team!? You can't make this stuff up.

I hope I never hear another word about Brett Favre. I hope I never hear his name again. I hope he DOES retire, and I hope Manning shreds his records. I am sick of Brett Favre.

I hope Albert Haynesworth is forever known as a lazy fat ass who once stepped on another player's face with his cleats. He's a bum.

I hope the Jerry Dome in Dallas loses more money than BP.

I hope Tony Romo drops the first snap of the year and breaks a thumb in the pile up.

I hope Tom Brady's run is over; and I hope Bill Belichick doesn't notice for a while.

I hope Phillip Rivers is in pain. Right now.

I hope Mike Singletary never wins another game until he learns how to speak like a normal human being instead of the cliche' ridden tough guy drivel that comes out of his mouth now.

I hope Al Davis never dies and never sells the Raiders. What would happen if we stuck Davis, Elton John, Liberace, and Barry Manilow in the same room for 24 hours?

And...I hope people forget about the Colts again. I hope they DO pick the Chargers, Jets, and Bengals as the class of the AFC. And I hope I'll have as much fun this January as I did LAST January.